If someone tells you you’re attractive, what do you do? Why do so many of us respond with some variation of “no, you are” and “lol” and “omg stop” when someone tells us we’re beautiful?
I don’t know why or how, but I firmly believe that at best I’m just regular, not remarkable, so absorbing compliments that are specifically about my looks has been delegated to the realm of vanity – maybe even narcissism. “Wow, she’s so full of herself. Who the hell does she think she is? Ugh.”
So, who has the right to feel and believe they are beautiful? And what about the rest of us? I know that whole thing about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, but how do we get around the social norms that teach us to be ashamed of loving ourselves? I don’t have a solution, but I think that’s why we need to work on being able to absorb positive feedback, and be even more willing to give it to others. Because it’s a way to reaffirm what we may not yet believe about ourselves.
You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re so cool. You’re strong. Whatever it is, when someone tells you they see this thing about you that you don’t believe you deserve, absorb it, revel in it, repeat it to yourself, say thank you. Genuinely claim it. And see if someday you start to believe it. Because it’s goddamn true.